The only person we can count on in our darkest moments.

And how I learned this lesson in prison.

”I hereby order you to serve 120 months in a federal prison,” echoed the judge’s voice. At least, that’s what I thought when reading her lips.

My mother’s crying drowned out all other sound.

This was that rock bottom moment. The next decade would be filled with a darkness that transforms even the best people into monsters, and with a hope that someone would pull me out of this situation.

I wanted my family to make my mistakes go away. I wanted God to pull me out of the depths of the hell. I wanted my friends to give me their full support.

And everything I wanted, came true. But it was not enough.

Because none of their help would ever mean anything unless I learned to count on one person first — me.

It was during this dreary and dark times that I realized that no matter how much support I have around me, the only person who can lift me out of a bad situation, a terrible funk, or even a bad mood is me.

Help means nothing unless I am willing to do something about my situation.

Throughout my years of incarceration, I witnessed thousands of people receive tons of love from family members, support from friends, and comfort from God. Yet, a majority of them failed to escape their darkest moment.

The common denominator? They wanted someone else to pull them out of their situation.

Learning this lesson from surrounding peers, I vowed to never fall into the same trap. Regardless of how supportive and comforting the people were in my life, self-sufficiency was the number one priority.

Setting goals, and problem solving on how to achieve them despite the circumstances, became the go-to strategy for everything. Counting on help came second.

Despite hitting rock bottom, I earned a bachelors and MBA, educated thousands of people as a Toastmasters’ Club President, and mentored hundreds of at-risk youth. The help of others in these ventures were invaluable. Yet, none of these achievements would have been possible if I didn’t learn how to rely on myself.

Today, I sit at home typing this article on my laptop because of this difficult lesson learned — the only person we can count on in our darkest moments is ourselves.